Tig Ole Biddies

Dear Victoria -

My wife has just the one pair of breasts. Believe me, I've checked into this many, many times. There are only so many bras that the woman needs. She’s got ones that shape and ones that lift and ones that give her more than God did. And even if she changes her underwear every hour of every day this week, I’m pretty sure she’s still all set with the muff covers too.

My question is this: WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE AT VICTORIA’S SECRET DO ALL DAY OTHER THAN PUT OUT CATALOGS!?? How do you plan on keeping anything secret if you send out two new catalogs AN HOUR!?!? It’s like the company is run by a bunch of guys who keep saying, “Dude, they’re still letting us take pictures of mostly naked women all day; put out another catalog before someone catches on.” Which is actually probably not too far from the truth.

I’m all for gratuitous exploitation, but even I have my limits, and I’ve been known to masturbate to houseplants. Mostly ferns.

But let’s not stray from the point here. If my wife wants something, I’m pretty sure she knows how to get a hold of ya by now. So unless the models are going to hand deliver each one of these catalogs, end the madness.

And I think you know what I mean when I say, “hand deliver”.

Comments

[cj]

house plants are awesome.. especially pussy willows

[snowy]

yeah! and maybe the bras wouldn't cost so damned much if they cut back on the 8x10 glossys.

[Almost Lucid (Brad)]

Did you see that Gisele is going to be in the new straight-to-video movie, Taxi? Just thought you should know. Ya know. Because she's hot.

[Sarah]

"and I’ve been known to masturbate to houseplants. Mostly ferns."

HAHAHAA!! WTF?! I thought I was the only weird one in this bunch! hehe..

[leo]

"and I’ve been known to masturbate to houseplants. Mostly ferns."

Change the "to" to "with", and I can feel your pain. Literally.

[Jack]

I am going to use that houseplants line at parties. I'd credit you but it's just too much bother to explain to people what a blog is :op

[teahouseblossom]

Ferns sound good, but I would venture to say that succulents provide better grip.

[EV]

Avoiding Venus Fly Trap comment.

[Scott-san]

Hand-deliver. Good one.

[Jilly]

Nice. That is the funniest thing I've read in days.

[Leah]

Victoria's Secret catalogs = Mormon missionaries in Utah

We know where we can find you if we want you. So leave us alone already!

[jenB]

"succulents have better grip" is the best double entendre EVER.

[Slut]

A girl can never have too much underwear. Never!