Hello Dumbass!

Though I’ve spoken of it before, I fear that the formerly rock-solid ability to suffer fools gladly has now completely dissolved from my personality. 

I have always taken great pains to develop my brown-sugary sweet distain for people in private.  Outwardly, I had a real knack for giving my undivided attention, no matter the Yokelisms that spouted from moronic mouths. 

I was in retail for around six years in high school and college.  I was known for my congeniality and kindness in dealing with the general public.  I won all sorts of Employee of the Month awards, based upon letter after letter of praise.  Customer Service was second nature.  I was a walking, talking ad for the perfect employee.

At some point though, and I’m not sure when, the switch was flipped.  The patience waned.  The contempt built.

And here I sit, wondering whether or not I can handle my job anymore, based on my inability to tolerate stupidity.  Reason tells me that idiots are everywhere; there is no escape.  There is no job that will allow me to hide from their never-ending, pointless stories or inexplicable hairdos.  There is no safe haven from the faraway, blank, uncomprehending expressions in the eyes.  There is no refuge from statements including “supposably” and the unbearable second-grade level emails.  There is no shelter for the drivers that appear to be legally blind.  There is no sanctuary from the 18 items in the 10-items-or-less checkout.

So, I propose that it’s time for those of us that know the difference between “there”, “they’re” and “their” to rise up!  Let us overpower our dimwitted oppressors!  Let us break free of these shackles! 

I hereby authorize you all to flick anyone on the forehead that says or does anything moronic from this point forward, in perpetuity.  If you get flicked more than five times in a day, you must go stand in a corner, away from people and sharp objects.  Just hum quietly to yourself.  Try not to drool.  If you get flicked more than 50 times in a week, you are not allowed to leave your house without a Sponsor.

Good luck to you.    

Comments

[biffolot]

o my god. i can seriously relate to that. i just finished my day at work (supermarket/ supershitty hellhole) anyway... i hate it, i hate it soo much! but mostly i hate the people! by the way.. you said that typing in i wanna fuck my grandmother came up with this website? well i typed in i hate people and it came up too. (this was after i had to rephrase my search a couple of times as it was bringing up some stuff i probably shoudn't be connected with) but i'm going to finish reading all your posts and maybe that'll get me through my work so thanks matey! i hate poeple,, but i like you. - what does this mean?